Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
