id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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