you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Randomize
