Banned from zoo.
Again?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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