i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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