I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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