That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Enjoy the penises
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
