either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
