its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
