Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
