Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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