I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
