You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
