You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
