It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
