That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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