Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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