All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
