I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Say something about gay babies.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
