dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just blew my weed a kiss
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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