I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
