It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
