I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
