Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
