i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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