Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
