he puts the penis in happiness.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
