More tranny stories later!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
