why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
