so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I will pee on everything he values.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
