how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
