So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
