I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I deserve this hangover.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
