It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
