Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
