Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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