Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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