do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
