everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
