He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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