3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
