he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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