bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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