New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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