If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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