I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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