i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
