using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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