somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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