Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
