So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Randomize
